<<Rewind

Standing in that line still, trying to focus and achieve some status of “5oshoo3: خشوع”, this little cute girl pushed me a bit with her small body to create a spot for herself in the line (she is hardly higher than my waist) and shook my grounds. She was wearing this nice 7ejab, and standing like a grown up woman, focusing on her prayer and doing the rokoo3 and sojood very well in comparison with her age.

I remembered my nieces whom I miss badly and started crying, I also remembered their cute faces buried in the praying costumes, whenever they used to wear them. I really wanted to make up for that feeling by hugging the girl and holding her little face in my hand, but I said I’m a stranger to her, the kid might freak out.

Then the Imam was reading verses from Surat Al Naml "سورة النمل" and the story of the prophet Suleiman, whom I really love and admire, so it all added up to my elevation status and made me achieve a level I failed to achieve in the past days with job and life stress.

I was really in another world not noticing the people around me, and as usual it gets missy, tears everywhere, and I start sniffing my nose with tissue (I hate this embarrassing part).

I was supplicating to Allah: “give me Suleiman”. He is the son I’m dreaming of, and wishing to be like the prophet, because of the verse 102 in Surat Al Baqara. Recall the part that says: "...وما كفر سليمان ولكن الشياطين كفروا...".

I cry every time I read or hear this verse, because it’s a grace to have a son with such faith. I was really deprived in certain periods of my life from having solid faith, when I felt surrounded by satins everywhere in my life, blocking my heart and mind from feeling Allah’s existence. It was indeed the darkest period of my life ever! So if I ever fulfill the state of having a son, after what I have seen and suffered in my life, it will be because of the struggle I went through to feel Allah’s existence, and maintain my faith; at times it was almost impossible to remain sane!

I always hated 5elfet el banat (having baby girls), not because I hate girls, but because they come to this life and most of the times, they are either undervalued and their efforts and presence is not appreciated even when they are too respectful, descent or religious, or they are raised up wrong, to network, socialize and position themselves in a cruel world that teaches them to do so through abusing their feminism, and ironically judges them based on the behaviors and attitudes resulting from such abuse!

The most beautiful thing that happened to me in this Ramadan was that girl standing by my side, she made me realize: “a woman is what you need to change the world” and that girl, standing still like a grown up, seemed to me (this is merely the initial impression) a material for a quality future woman.

A woman is a worker, worshipper, sister, wife and mother, who could have the positive influence, if raised up to do so, and prove to the world around her, that she can make a difference by making a real difference, even if it takes time. Remember ladies and gentlemen: Patience always pays back greater than the intitial investment.

A woman, is never a passive player, as most of us were raised up to believe so, and shall forever be able to take lead diligently and intelligently, if raised up well, on solid consistent faith.

The 4^th tarwaee7 rak3a finished, and this lady came to me saying: “ If you have a flu, please stand in a line back by yourself, so you won’t infect anybody”! She moved to another line when I didn’t move and responded to her: no madame, I don’t have flu, and unfortunately she sounded arrogant and careless, as if she knows better.

I had pity on her judging me like this, for fear this might be a general stream or way of thinking in her life, and wanted to tell her after the 8^th rak3a: “if you have phobia from getting sick, or is confused about the difference between the flu and the swine flu, then it’s better for you to wear a muzzle. Lucky her, I was unable to catch her, and lucky me, I was involuntarily given the chance to forgive her and make supplications; one day she'll feel the way I felt during this prayer.

I also had pity on her, because she lost 5oshoo3 during her prayer whilst focusing on my tears and nose status, and because she failed to achieve the elevation status I reached during the most beautiful prayer I had this Ramadan.