That Boy - BEHIND THE WALLS

He opened the door screaming in a joyful tone: “Mar7aba”. I turned my back to see the intruder as he seemed to know me for greeting me in that loud manner.

All I saw was a highly unorganized looking guy, shaggy hair in desperate need of some haircut, long randomly growing beard, some white cheap T-shirt with jeans pants hanging to the floor.

I kept waiting for the administration to show him the ACs that were broken and to fix them, thinking he’s a technician who doesn’t have enough time to take care of his looks. Ironically; the GM welcomed him in his room.

Whilst introducing us to each other, the guy greeted me for couple of more times in a very excited way and didn’t stop until the manager told him: “flaneh, sister of flan”. At this point he became so serious, trying to remain balanced. I, on the other hand, was shocked to discover what he turned to be doing for living!

The first day of the next week he started his tenure with us. He came with a clean haircut, a shaved beard, dressed in a professional way. I couldn’t recognize him and started to think: is he that same guy whom I thought came to fix the ACs?

Either serious, or laughing, that’s how you see him, with a bit of pain and sorrow tones in his laughs, which most people are too ignorant and busy to hear or notice. He seemed to me at certain points like searching for relief through those giggles and in some cases they sounded like screams and I got confused whether they were cry spells or mere laughs!

I never recall seeing him smiling smoothly, although he makes everybody believe he’s all the time happy, strong, and nothing can break him.

It turned daddy left so early, and that joyful boy had to start working from a young age too hard.

When told (in a desperate trial to urge him to shave): you look very handsome with your beard shaved, he always replied: I feel I look better with a beard.

That said, it’s true, but he also had to grow very fast, to take care of mommy and the sisters, who have no other male to support them, except that boy. The beard made people perceive him as older than his true age, the weight lifting built him muscle mass and the self-defense arts afforded him the confidence and inner security he needed to protect his family and himself as well.

He always tells me: life is a war, and you must be a strategist in your way of thinking.

He went through a lot in his life to give up his armor or rest even for short whiles.

He surpasses peers, whether of his age or older, with his great mentality and continuously revised and improved tactics. Yet; he fails not to feel lost if he finds himself not surrounded by people. He breathes through other’s breaths and feels safe and energized in their presence.

Always pretending things are perfect when in fact he might be on the very brink of collapsing, and his entire life might be falling apart.

He always manages to stand still on solid ground even when he is vulnerable, scared, and completely unbalanced deep inside.

He persistently provokes people around him, enough to explore them in depth to make sure their problems are as big as his, to prove he’s managing well and he’s the strongest.

Indeed, he felt to me sometimes like a little unstable boy, who wanted to assure himself what he is facing are routine troubles, which normal people in the same position go through daily or at least on a frequent basis.

That boy was never satisfied by average life conditions or returns. Thus; he went a step ahead and decided to take lead of others’ lives by becoming a team leader in a job setting; a distinctive team leader who has the capacity to influence people and constantly tries to brainwash them.

Leadership helped him believe he’s in control of other’s lives when in fact he had minimal control over his own life.

Meet the number one attention seeker; a person who is in constant search of attention, and one who was truly able to gain the attention of a person whose attention is usually too hard to be obtained.

That boy has forever been a material for an excellent leader, an aggressive determinant worrier, and a solid man who can’t be broken by anything except a sad look on a respectable female with quality brain and character.